Human communication is a complex ballet of connection and disconnection, where every movement and silence plays a crucial role in shaping our relationships and our psychological well-being. Padraic Gibson, PhD, takes us into the depths of this dynamic, revealing how the principles of systems therapy and Palo Alto communication theory can help us understand and improve our daily interactions. By deciphering the language of our behaviors, this text illuminates how we can strengthen our connections with others and ourselves.
Navigating the nuances of logging in and out
Key points
All behavior in the presence of others is communicative.
Communication works on several levels, in terms of the content of the message and the content of the relationship.
The concept of communication includes nonverbal actions and is inherently reciprocal.
Human communication is an art and a science. Communication is a way to build deep connections, but it can also be a path fraught with communication errors and negative, unpredictable behavioral effects. In this complex dance of human interaction, every step, every gesture, and every moment of silence has weight and meaning that shapes the fabric of our relationships as well as our mental health and well-being.
Communication theory
Communication theory gives us a map to better navigate the nuances of our daily exchanges. Blaise Pascal's observation on the power of words sets the tone for understanding the multi-layered nature of communication. He said that “words arranged differently have different meanings and meanings arranged differently can have different effects.” Our “ordinary” communication is better seen as a symphony where words, their arrangement, their tone and their context play a central role in the construction of our reality and the quality of our relationships. Ludwig Wittgenstein warned us about the pitfalls of language and invited us to use our linguistic tools wisely, to express ourselves rather than to trap ourselves. In their reference work "The Pragmatics of Human Communication", Don Jackson, Paul Watzlawick and Janet Bavelas present five axioms or general rules of communication. These rules form a framework for interpreting human interaction, emphasizing the importance of context, perception and relational dynamics in communication . Understanding and applying these rules can lead to more effective and meaningful interactions. These principles serve as a scaffold for understanding how we interact. They are as follows:
1. The impossibility of not communicating (the rule of inevitable communication)
What it means: All behavior communicates something, even inaction or silence.
Implications: This rule emphasizes that we always communicate, whether we intend to or not. In social situations, everything from our silence to our body language sends a message to others.
2. The content and relationship levels of communication (the rule of digital and analog modalities)
What this means: Messages have two levels: the “digital” content, which is the literal message, and the “analog” aspect, which is the non-verbal context surrounding the message.
Implications: Misunderstandings often arise when the nonverbal context conflicts with the verbal message. It is important to be aware that the way you say something can greatly affect the meaning of the words.
3. Punctuation of the sequence of events (rule of interactional punctuation)
What it means: Communication is a continuous flow and how individuals “punctuate” or interpret these flows can lead to different interpretations of the same interaction.
Implications: Disagreements can arise when people interpret the sequence of events differently. Each can view their own responses as reactions to the other's behavior, rather than as actions that provoke a response.
4. The rule of complementary and symmetrical exchanges
What it means: Interactions can be symmetric (equal) or complementary (based on differences).
Implications: Understanding whether an interaction is based on equality or difference can help clarify the dynamics of the relationship. For example, a symmetrical exchange can intensify competitiveness, while a complementary exchange can reinforce one person's dominance.
5. The rule of metacommunication
What it means: All communication has a content level and a relationship level, the latter being a form of metacommunication , or communication about communication.
Implications: Communication problems often arise from the relationship level, not the content. Recognizing and addressing this problem helps prevent and resolve conflicts.
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The importance of relationships
Clinical effect
In a therapeutic context, these axioms or rules are not simply academic; they are practical tools that guide clinicians in their interactions with their clients. Recognition of the inescapable nature of communication is essential to understanding the impact of each gesture, each word and each silence in the therapeutic environment. Understanding the paradoxes and contradictions that can arise in everyday communication allows us to navigate and negotiate conflicting messages and misalignments in verbal and nonverbal communication. This can help us clarify intentions and foster empathy, which are the cornerstones of healthy relationships and understanding, but also influence and persuade others to take actions that can create the change they need. need.
Words and their meaning
We must remember that our words have the power to shape our world and our interactions with others. Communication must be the bridge that connects us, not the cage that locks us in. There is no "non-communication", and therefore every action, every inaction, is loaded with messages, apparent or implicit. The inevitability of communication is evident in all social situations, including nonverbal cues. The context of interactions also serves to shape our perception of and response to the message, such that each interaction is multi-layered, with an important component being the relational cues that define how we should behave towards each other at the moment. beyond simple facts.
Relations with reality
An interactional approach to communication emphasizes that we are all participants in a pre-existing communication system and recognizes the reciprocal nature of communication, where behavior is both a response and a stimulus in a cycle of relational interactions. The relational aspect of communication is essential. Often, it is not the content of our communication that leads to conflict, but differences in interpretation and relational signals that are out of alignment. Communication theory allows us to see that each behavior in an interaction serves as a response and stimulus for the next action and affects both parties. It emphasizes the shared responsibility we have in communication. It also provides a comprehensive framework for understanding human interactions, shifting the focus of our clinical work from individual psychology to the dynamics of relationships, between ourselves, others and the world around us. It emphasizes the role of relationship dynamics and the reciprocal process of communication. I believe this framework is essential in areas such as psychotherapy, conflict resolution, and the broader understanding of human behavior.
Where to train in the systemic and strategic approach?
LACT offers several live certifying web training courses with 50 international trainers.
- Generalist systemic training
- DU in Relationship Clinic with the University of Paris 8
- Clinical Masters with specialization in psychopathology with Pr Nardone's CTS
- Systemic Coach Training
- Systemic training in relationship management with the University of Grenoble
- Online Ericksonian Hypnosis Training
References
- Gibson, P. (2021) Escaping the Anxiety Trap. Strategic Science Books.
- Gibson, P. (2022). Persuasion Principle. Strategic Science Books.
- Gibson, P, Manzoni, M., Pietrabissa (2014) A 4-year Observational Study on the efficacy of BST Treatment for OCD in an Irish Clinic. Journal of Therapies in Medicine.
- Gibson P., Papantouono, M., Portelli, C (2014) Winning Without Fighting: A Handbook of Effective Solutions to Social, Emotional, and Behavioral Problems in Schools.
- Nardone, G. and Portelli, C. (2005). Knowing by changing: The evolution of brief strategic therapy. Glasgow: Crown House Publishing.
- Pascal, B. (1995) AJ Krailsheimer (translator) Penées (USA; Penguin Classics) Italian version (1962), Pensieri (Turin: Einaudi).
- Watzlawick, P., Beavin, J. H., and Jackson, Don D. (1967), Pragmatics of Human Communication: A study of Interactional Patterns, Pathologies and Paradoxes (New York, NY: WW Norton & Co.).
- Wittgenstein, L. (1953) Philisophical Investigations. Trans. G. Anscombe. New York: Macmillan
