The Dangers of Overprotective Parenting

• Greater access to new, multiple and unfortunately contradictory solutions for psychological and behavioral problems.
• Greater focus on self and individualism.
• An excessive increase in the prescription of psychiatric drugs.
• Rational approaches to solving human problems - including the use of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).
• Changing roles - such as the renegotiation of gender and family roles.
• Self-expectations - we expect more from ourselves and from life than before.
• Overprotective environments - parental role models, as we will see later, had a detrimental effect on young people.
• Social media - use and misuse of these means of communication with the world.

The systemicist Padraic Gibson sheds light on the consequences of parental overprotection on the construction of the child. Padraic Gibson is a family therapist and supervisor. He works in Ireland, Italy and Malta. He is a Senior Research Associate and Lecturer at Dublin City University and Clinical Director of The OCD Clinic®.

We all gain a sense of our "self" through the values, beliefs, and practices of our society and culture. We come to "know" ourselves through these contexts, as well as the language given to us by professionals about mental health and illness and how it is described. These images and the language we use are usually widely propagated by mass media or medical companies. It is also important to emphasize that we are not just victims of our society or our family, we can think, act and feel on a personal level. We have a personal responsibility and a personal agenda to make our own decisions and we can create a better future and mold effective lifestyles ourselves. The increase in the number of working hours, increased income inequality, greater job insecurity and the breakdown of social contacts with the extended family, combined with a society that values ​​a cultural impulse towards individual aspirations and consumerism, also have a direct impact on the mental health of all citizens.  

In these situations, parenting is characterized by gentle and warm communication, with protection and love being at the heart of these interactions. These parents find themselves continually talking and connecting with their children to forestall any potential difficulties. Most often, if the child refuses to accept the protection and love offered to him, he feels guilty and ashamed.  

The effects of this style of education are disastrous and trap children in a complex contradiction. Children are forced to see themselves as having high self-esteem, when many of them have not faced many practical real-world problems and overcome them on their own to win. this self-esteem. These young people, when they are overparented, often have a great mistrust of those around them and of their own abilities. How many children are told that they can become whatever they want, even president of their country, while at the same time their parents do everything and solve all the problems for them? In this interaction, a dangerous double message is created, because every time parents step in and solve problems for their children, they are actually telling their children, "I'm doing this because I love you. . but I really do it because you are unable to do it yourself". This double bind undermines the child's sense of competence and ability in very subtle ways, and the relationship patterns described below reinforce this dynamic.  

In this diagram we can see that:

• The message that the child also receives from his parents is that the child does not have to do too much and that he does not have to face the frightening consequences of failure.
• Parents or grandparents can step in and fix everything.
• The rewards are not based on what they do or the results they achieve, they are received because they are special and things are rightfully theirs. 
• It is not necessary to exert effort to obtain most things, which leads the child to an unrealistic view of the world.

The treatment of phobias and panic disorders by the systemic approach is taught in the third year of the LACT course of the Clinician of the Relationship and in the clinical master of Giorgio Nardone .